


Seven Steps of Letting Go

by itismimi



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Blood, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, Overthinking, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:22:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27329491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itismimi/pseuds/itismimi
Summary: They love each other, but they couldn't be together. They're in the same path, but they never meet.And that's why, they need to let go.
Relationships: Kita Shinsuke & Miya Osamu, Miya Atsumu & Miya Osamu, Miya Osamu/Suna Rintarou
Kudos: 21
Collections: Haikyuu Angst Week 2020





	Seven Steps of Letting Go

**Author's Note:**

> Written for HQ Angst Week 2020. This will have 7 chapters, where every chapter will use the prompts available for each day in hqangstweek.
> 
> This is unbetaed so I'm sorry if there's any mistake! enjoy <3

People knew Osamu as the calmer twin—more reserved, had more self-control and logics. People knew Osamu as the quieter twin, the less expressive, and Osamu himself agreed with that.

What people didn’t know was, Osamu was the more sensitive and emotional twin at heart. He just didn’t show it much.

Osamu was sitting in silence, it was a slow day in his shop so he wasn’t busy. He opened his phone, trying to find something interesting in his social media. Twitter, nothing’s interesting. Instagram, nothing’s interesting. YouTube, nothing’s interesting.

He decided to scroll through his messaging app.

No new chat directed to him. Not in the groups that he joined, not in personal chat with anyone. He sighed. Lately, his life felt so flat and boring. He did everything according to his routine—waking up, preparing for the day, spending time at his shop, and then end the day by staring at his ceiling until he fell asleep. He did that every day, without changing.

His life felt so empty.

Osamu scrolled through his chats and found a chat room called “Kita-san’s Inarizaki” and stopped. It was a chat room consisting the Inarizaki High School volleyball team when Kita-san was the captain.

A chat room which consisted of people who were closest to family for Osamu.

Second year of high school was the most enjoyable time for him. No pressure, no burden, no worries. He had volleyball, he had his twin, he had his friends—he discovered what he wanted to do after high school, and he was really sure with it.

It was the peak of his life.

He opened the chat room. The last chat came from about three months ago—they were talking about Aran-kun and Atsumu’s match. They talked about how interesting it was—they complimented Atsumu’s clever way of playing and Aran-kun’s consistency for the whole game.

Osamu remembered that there was a time when that chat room was full with embarrassing stories, banters, insults to each other, and Kita-san’s warnings.

_He kind of missed that._

Osamu remembered their promise to communicate with each other routinely even after graduation—to meet each other once in a while, to always be there for each other, to never change. But as the time goes by, Osamu knew that everyone has their own lives and problems to be taken care about and it was impossible not to change. _It was impossible to stay the same._

But it felt like he’s the one that stayed the same.

It felt like he’s the one who always waited for a new notification from the chat room. It felt like he’s the one who always waited for a reunion. It felt like he’s the one who always waited for a group call ring from the chat room.

_It felt like he’s the only one who’s longing for their interactions, and it kind of hurt._

He tapped on the chat room info and looked at his friends’ profile one by one—trying to remember, when was the last time he chatted with them? When was the last time he heard their voices? He didn’t even remember when was the last time he contacted his twin. They used to chat with each other all the time, they used to call each other in the most impossible time.

He opened the chat room media and looked at their photos—they were so young, so innocent. So bright, so full of dreams.

Osamu smiled—a sad one.

“When did it all change?” he whispered at nobody but himself.

* * *

Osamu was scrolling at the chat room photos when he found a particular photo. He stopped immediately and stared at the photo.

That lazy smile.

That messy hair.

That slanted eyes.

_Suna Rintarou._

It was an old photo—taken before their high school graduation ceremony. Osamu remembered that he was the one who took the photo for Suna. He remembered that he shared it to the chat room because Kita-san had asked for their graduation photos.

Remembering Suna Rintarou was an easy task for Osamu. As far as Osamu could remember, his high school days were full with Suna—be it in the classroom, in the gym, or in their respective houses. They hang out together, they studied together, they practiced together—they practically joined at the hip. Osamu was sure that he literally spent his time with Suna more than with his own twin back then.

Suna was the constant in his high school life. Suna was the one who understand him the most, and Suna was the one who always be there for him. Suna knew how to lift his mood, Suna knew what to say to make him calm, and Suna knew what to do to make him laugh.

He was sure that he did the same for Suna, back then. He could say that Suna was his best friend and he was Suna’s.

_What Osamu didn’t remember was how his friendship with Suna drifted apart._

Maybe it started when he began to realize that he was in love with his best friend. Maybe it started when he began to become more caring, more attentive to Suna. Maybe it started when he began to try to flirt seriously with Suna.

_Maybe it started when he made a stupid decision to tell Suna that he loves him._

And it continued to Suna not responding his texts. It continued to tons of unanswered calls. It continued to many kinds of excuses to not communicate with each other.

_It continued to no contact at all._

He should’ve known that Suna never felt the same. He should’ve known that Suna didn’t see him that way. He should’ve known that Suna never considered him as a love interest.

_He should’ve known that his love was unrequited one._

* * *

Osamu locked his phone and put it back to his pocket. He sighed heavily and leaned on the table in front of him.

People knew Osamu as a reserved, calm person.

Osamu tried to be that kind of person. Reserved and calm. A strong, quiet wind compared with a disastrous, noisy storm which his brother was.

But he was not.

He was an emotional train wreck—he was a dam of emotion waiting to break down. He felt too much at one time and he held it in until he couldn’t—he thought too hard at everything and he stored it in until his head was too full.

And right now, when everything felt so empty, so wrong—

_He didn’t know what to do._

_He didn’t know who to ask._

_He didn’t know where to go._

_Osamu felt lost._


End file.
